Before Ava
by IsabellaBP7
Summary: Kate and Elliot are an adorable couple, but sometimes bad things happen to good people.
1. Chapter 1

_**To everyone that reads my other story Fifty Shades Further, I promise that I have not given up on it; I have just hit a writer's block. It'll pass and I will get the new chapter posted within a week. This came to me about two weeks ago when I was in class and I haven't found time to write it until now. It's just going to be a sort story—no more than two or three chapters—but I love Kate and Elliot and I just thought this was a good idea.**_

_**Happy reading :)**_

**Kate's POV**

After Elliot and I were married, we jetted off to Phuket, Thailand for the most amazing honeymoon either one of us could have ever asked for. The island was absolute paradise and we spent almost the whole time either in the four poster bed with white sheets or on the white sand beach. We stayed in a private villa and had our own little beach all to ourselves. It was the best honeymoon a girl could ask for. We made love in the sea, in a hot tub the villa provided us, and on just about every surface inside the villa. I can't help but smile whenever I think about it.

We were gone for a little more than two weeks. Not long after we came back, however, Elliot's grandfather had a stroke. We sat in the hospital for hours with all the Greys, including a couple of Mr. Trevelyan's friends. Ana, who was _very _pregnant at that point, sat in those uncomfortable chairs like the rest of us despite Christian's insisting she go home. We sat and we sat in silence almost the entire time. I held Elliot's hand. He needed me that night, especially after the doctor came in and told us Mr. Trevelyan had passed away. It was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. Grace and Mrs. Trevelyan broke down right there, both collapsing to the floor. Grace had Carrick right there to console her, but Mrs. Trevelyan…she's lucky she has the grandsons that she does. I stood with Ana as Elliot and Christian helped her off the floor and both held her as she cried. I held Ana. She was very hormonal and was crying as hard as Grace. I didn't cry. Not really. I've never been one to express strong emotion, but I was very sad. Theo was a great man.

From there we had the funeral to get through. Elliot was a wreck. He really loved his grandfather. Theo was closest to Christian, but loved all his grandchildren just the same. I felt really sorry for Ana and Christian. She was due in two weeks and should have been really excited and she should have been resting, but instead she helped with the funeral arrangements as much as we would allow her, and more importantly, he helped get Christian through it all.

When the funeral was done with, Mrs. Trevelyan moved in with Grace and Carrick for a bit while the estate, which was in Theo's name, was cleared. She eventually moved back in despite Grace not wanting her to be alone, but Mrs. Trevelyan simply said that she only wanted to be in a place that was filled with memories of the person she loved more than her own life. Grace let it go.

Then started what Elliot and I called 'the waiting game'. Ana was overdue. She was huge and flustered and tired and angry and overdue. Elliot, Mia, Ethan and I had a bet going as to when she would finally pop. I won. It happened on a Saturday morning. Elliot and I were making mad, passionate love in bed before going to get breakfast when Grace called. Elliot ignored it and never lost his rhythm. When Grace immediately called again, Elliot answered.

"Hi, Mom," he said. He listened. "Okay, we'll be there soon." He hung up the phone and looked at me. "You won the bet," is all he said.

We finished making love and then went to the hospital. We went in to see Christian and Ana before going to the waiting room. She was sweaty and looked like she was about to vomit when we walked in. Christian looked worried sick, especially when Ana _did _vomit. We left them to have some privacy and went to the waiting room where Grace, Carrick, Carla, Bob, Mia and Ethan were already seated. Ray showed up not long after that. We sat down and waited…and waited…and waited. Fourteen hours later Christian walks into the room wearing blue scrubs looking exhausted, relieved, and emotional. But above all of that, he looked extremely happy.

"Ana had to have an emergency C-section," he starts. We all gasp. "She's fine. Tired, but fine. So is our son. He was born about fifteen minutes ago and weighs seven pounds nine ounces. He's beautiful. We've named him Theodore Raymond Grey."

I look over at Ray and see tears coursing down his face. That was really great of them. Ray didn't have to be Ana's dad, he chose to be, and he took amazing care of her. I'd say he loves as much as Christian, which would be hard to do.

Grace throws her arms around Christian first. She's crying. All the grandparents are, and Mia. She hugs Christian next. We all hug him. When he gets to me I can see the dried tears on his cheeks. I had no idea Mr. Mogul could cry.

He gets our attention. "Listen, I know you all want to meet him tonight, and I don't blame you, but it's late. Ana and I think it would be best if just the grandparents met their first grandchild tonight. Everyone else can come back in the morning. I think we all need some sleep."

Mia whines loudly and I don't blame her. I want to meet him! But then again, Ana must be beyond exhausted. Elliot and I say our good-byes and head home. I moved into his apartment before we got married, and Mia and Ethan now occupy the one my dad bought for me. They seem to be going steady, but I have a feeling their relationship will crash and burn.

We get home and immediately fall asleep. Waiting around all day is exhausting. The next morning we were up and out back to the hospital to meet our new nephew. Elliot was really excited, maybe even more than me. Elliot loves kids. We went to an Easter party for my office and he instantly started playing with my coworkers' kids. He was amazing. We haven't really discussed having children yet, but I know we'll have one.

When we arrived back at the hospital, we all but ran up to the maternity ward. We were the first ones to arrive. Ana was still fast asleep, but Christian was in the chair next to the bed holding a little blue bundle in his arms. He still looked tired, but he looked so utterly happy staring down at his son. Elliot gently knocked on the door.

"Hey, bro. Are we too early?" Elliot asked quietly so as not to wake Ana.

"No, come on in," he replied.

Christian stood up and we walked in the room. He handed Theodore to me and said, "Kate, meet your nephew."

_Oh, we are _so _having a baby_, was my first thought as I gingerly gathered the little boy in my arms. He was so sweet. Looked exactly like Christian even at less than a day old. I had my fun holding Theodore before handing him off to Elliot who just smiled down at him. Elliot it too amazing. I thought he would immediately start cracking jokes, but instead, he kissed his nephew's head and hummed a gentle tune to him.

That night, we started talking babies.

"Do you want one?" Elliot asked me as we drove to lunch from the hospital.

"Want what?" I replied.

"A baby."

"Yes." I didn't hesitate. I do want a baby, especially if Elliot is going to be the father.

"Good. Me, too," he smiled.

"What? Now?" Oh no, I don't want babies now.

"Oh, no! No, not now. In the future."

"Yes, baby, I want a baby in the future." We drove the rest of the way to lunch with stupid grins on our faces.

Teddy is now eleven months old and it's the future.

It's the future.

I'm pregnant.

I found out officially this morning. I began suspecting when my period was late. I was almost certain when I started feeling sick in the mornings, but now there is no denying it. I went to the doctor this morning and I have photographic evidence that there is a baby in my belly. I can't wait to tell Elliot!

I know a lot of women will do something special for their man when they give them the news, but not me. No. I don't want Elliot to suspect anything is out of the ordinary. I want to catch him completely off guard. Tonight is going to be like any other night except for Elliot is going to find out he will be a father in seven months.

I am making tacos for dinner. I really tried to learn how to cook before we got married and I'm still learning. I'm not as good as Ana yet, but I'm a hell of a lot better than I was. Elliot is easy to cook for. He'll eat just about anything, but he really loves simple foods. I know Christian and Ana eat really well courtesy of Mrs. Jones—I mean Mrs. Taylor—but Elliot would much rather come home to see tacos being laid out on the table than risotto with lobster and truffles.

He'll be home soon and I'm so excited I can barely even stand still long enough to make the tacos, but I manage. I have just laid the last bowl on the kitchen table when I feel my husband's strong arms wrap around my waist. I smile, turn around and plant a kiss on his ever-so-soft lips. He smiles his big boyish smile and I all but melt in his arms. I love this man so much.

"Hey, baby. Good day?" he kisses my neck.

"Yeah, I had an excellent day. How about you? How was your day?" _It was excellent because I'm pregnant!_

"Pretty shitty. Two guys quit on us today."

"Oh no! On the big project?" Grey Construction has been commissioned to build a brand new state-of-the-art, ecologically sustainable condo complex just outside the city limits of Seattle. He and his crew have been working their asses off doing twelve to thirteen hour days sometimes six days a week. My poor baby has been so tired, but if he's lost two guys on that project, it'll get them back a couple of days.

"Yeah. And unfortunately I can't afford to replace them. No one else on any of the other crews knows how to assemble fucking solar panels and construct decent irrigation systems. I'm just glad to be home for the weekend." He puts his face between my breasts and nuzzles.

I giggle. "You hungry?"

"Starved. Tacos?" he asks, removing his face from my cleavage.

"Yes, tacos."

"Sounds delicious, baby."

We sit down to eat and I have to try my absolute hardest not to smile too much or tap my fingers against the table. He can't suspect anything, but I'm just so fucking excited! Well, he would never suspect anything while he's eating…

"So did you hear about Teddy?" I ask nonchalantly.

Elliot frowns and looks up at me, mouth full of taco. He swallows. "No, is he okay?" Elliot loves that little guy.

"Yeah, he's fine. This is good news."

"What is it?"

I look him dead in the eye and keep the straightest face I possibly can. "He's going to be a cousin," I say.

Elliot's reaction is everything I could have hoped for and more. His eyes grow to the size of our dinner plates and his jaw all but drops onto the table. He just starts and stares at me for the longest time. I briefly think he's freaking out, which in turn makes me freak a bit, but then he whoops so loudly I think my eardrums will burst. He gets up from the table and rushes over to me. He lifts me up out of my chair so my feet are dangling a foot off the ground and holds me tight. He gently sets me back on the ground before he kisses me so sweetly, so passionately. I can feel the tears on his cheeks. He pulls back to we can come up for air. He is smiling from ear to ear. I haven't seen him this happy since right after I said 'I do' and he was able to kiss the bride. I dry his tears with my thumbs and smile at him. I love this man do much.

"Wait. Just to be clear, it's you who's pregnant, right?" he asks.

I laugh. "Yes, it's me who's pregnant."

He buries his face in my neck and I wrap my arms around his deliciously broad shoulders. I love this man. I love this man. I love this man. Eventually he lets me go and we finish our dinner, both with the most ridiculous grins on our faces. Elliot helps me clean the kitchen and we head to bed to make love.

Two hours later we are breathless but still smiling. I get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Elliot calls after me as I leave the room. I don't answer and I know he won't follow. I go to my purse and grab the picture of our child, only seven weeks of age.

I walk back into our bedroom and snuggle up into Elliot's arms before handing him the picture. He looks at it and smiles.

"That's him?" he asks.

"Him?"

"Him."

"You think it's a boy?"

"I know it's a boy."

"You thought Teddy was a girl."

"Ah, but this time, you see, _I've _got the father's intuition," he whispers in my ear.

"Oh do you now?" I giggle.

"Yes, Katherine, I do." He kisses my hair.

We go to sleep that night naked and wrapped in each other's arms with the picture of our future child next to the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Elliot's POV**

The last couple of weeks have been some of the best of my life. I replaced the assholes that quit on me, got ahead of our schedule for the big project, and found out I'm going to be a father. I can hardly believe it and I'm so excited I could piss myself. I love kids and they've always loved me. I like to think of myself as a kind of idol to my nephew Teddy. I swear that almost-toddler is Christian's clone. With the exception of his eyes, which are totally Ana's, he is the spitting image of Christian. As the only baby in the family—well, not for long!—his growth and development have been super exciting for all of us Greys. Every tiny milestone was like a fucking holiday. Christian and I are especially excited now he's learning to walk. We've already started teaching him baseball, and for his first birthday party this weekend, Kate and I will be presenting him with a miniature baseball bat and glove. We will also be announcing the arrival of our bundle of joy in January.

Kate looks so beautiful right now. I heard that pregnant women glow, but I never really understood it until now. Whenever I saw Ana while she was pregnant she just looked like the same Ana with a slightly larger stomach. But Kate seems to have this gold hue surrounding her these days. Her hair is shinier, her eyes are brighter, and she's putting out a lot more, too. I mean, it's not like she was ever a prude, but we've gone from once a day-ish, to two or three times a day. Yes, indeed I am one happy man these days.

Today is Friday and Teddy's first birthday party is tomorrow. It's my job to pick up his gifts on my way home as I'll be passing the store and Kate is getting the card on her way home. I have to wrap the presents, though, because Kate is one of the shittiest wrappers I have ever seen. I'm got particularly great at it, but Jesus, she makes me look like Martha fucking Stewart.

When I get home, my beautiful, gorgeous wife is sitting at the very small kitchen table in my apartment. Fuck, we're going to have to start thinking about moving. I kiss the top of her head and see that she is just finishing up Ted's card. She stands up to kiss me properly so I dip her down into one of my famous Hollywood-style holds and give her a big wet kiss. She giggles.

"Good evening," she says, smiling.

"Hey, baby," I reply, standing her back up.

"Good day?" she asks me. I lift her up and put her on the kitchen counter. She spreads her legs for me and I stand between them. I rub her thighs.

"Great day, baby. How was your day?" I kiss her neck.

"Boring as hell. Want to make it more exciting for me?" she whispers that last part in my ear. Fuck, I'm already getting hard.

"I would love to excite you, my beautiful wife." I lift her into my arms and carry her into the bedroom, both of us giggling.

**WE EAT DINNER A **little over an hour later, me in just my boxers, and Kate in just her robe. I made her put on her fluffy winter one because I don't want her getting sick. I can now understand why Christian was so extra protective toward Ana while she was pregnant. Can't have the mother of your child getting sick. When we've finished dinner I wrap Teddy's present quickly and then take my wife back to bed. She is so good at sex it never ceases to amaze me. I don't like to think how she got so good at it, especially if she has a sexual history like mine, but it seems like every week she's pulling another trick out of her sleeve. My sexy magician.

"How should we tell everyone?" she asks, head on my chest and playing with my fingers.

"Hm?" I reply. I'm too sated right now.

"How should we tell everyone about the baby tomorrow?"

I think about it. "I don't know," I say, "maybe after Teddy's opened his gifts?"

"I don't want to steal his thunder, though. It's his first birthday—his limelight."

"Perhaps after he's crashed? Surely with all the excitement tomorrow he'll be out before eight. We can tell everyone when he's asleep. It's not like he's going to have any idea what it means to have a cousin."

"That sounds good. I like that idea."

"Me, too, baby." I kiss the top of her head.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Thank you."

I frown. "For what?"

"Knocking me up."

I laugh. "No problem, baby. Anytime."

There's a pause and I can sense her smile. That's what happens when you love someone as much as I love Kate. You just know everything about them. Even without looking at her, I can always tell her mood, even when she's on her period and has mood swings up the ass, I know. I guess that will come in handy as she gets more hormonal over the next few months.

"I'm so happy," she whispers.

"I am, too."

"I love you, Elliot."

"I love you, too, Kate." I shift her gently off of me so I get on top of her. I support myself on my elbows and lean down to kiss her. I would normally just lay on her because it makes her laugh and I love her laugh, but I know I'm really fucking heavy, and I don't want to crush the baby. Our baby. I shimmy my way down her body until my face is over her stomach and start planting small kisses all over it. I smile as I realize I'll be doing this a lot over the next seven months. Being the horny ass that I am, I don't stop at Kate's belly. I keep going down until I reach my very specific goal…

What the fuck?! I startle awake. My heart is pounding so hard it almost fucking hurts. What time is it? Two thirty in the morning. Why the fuck am I awake? What the hell woke me up? A nightmare? I don't get nightmares, that's Christian's thing. I look over to see if I woke Kate, but she's not in bed. _What the fuck is going on?_ Wait…did she call for me? Fuck I'm confused. Where's Kate? I lift the covers up on her side of the bed just to double check that I'm not going crazy. But as I lift the covers I realize that I wish I was crazy. There's blood.

What. The. Fuck.

I leap out of bed, still discombobulated, but determined to find my wife. I immediately go to the bathroom. She should be there, right? I open the door and find that I was right. Kate is sitting on the toilet, arms hugged tightly to her body, head between her knees. _No. _I go over to her side and kneel down, but I don't think she's noticed me.

"Kate?" I breathe. She looks up and I see the worry on her face—the sheer panic.

"Kate, what's going on? Are you sick?" I ask. I know it's not, but I'm hoping the answer is yes.

She shakes her head. _Fuck. _What do I do? I put a hand on her pack and rub gently, but she doesn't relax. She's not crying. I've never seen her cry. Just the occasional tear in a highly emotional situation. I can count three. The first was when I asked her to marry me, the second was when Ana got out of the hospital after the Hyde thing, and then right after we got married. She's so strong.

"I think I'm losing the baby," she whispers, not looking at me. The words nearly tear me in half. So much pain is in her voice.

I grab her hand. "Kate, look at me," she does. "I'm going to call my mom. She'll know what to do. She'll know what's going on."

Kate nods. I squeeze her hand, kiss her head, and leave the bathroom. _Where the fuck is my phone? _I search desperately for it and find it under my jeans on the floor. I start fucking everything up trying to call my mom because my hands are shaking slightly. I eventually get it right and call her. She answers on the last ring, her voice groggy.

"Hello?"

"Mom?" My voice cracks. Shit.

"Elliot? What is it? What's wrong?" She seems more alert now.

"It's Kate, Mom. I think she's having a miscarriage." I have to whisper so my voice doesn't keep cracking. Tears start forming in the corners of my eyes. _No. I need to be strong. I must be strong for Kate. _She needs me.

"Miscarriage?" My mom is amazing. She quickly accepts the news before she moves on to her professional, calm attitude. It's soothing. "How far along is she?"

Shit. How far along? I wrack my brains and then I remember. "Nine weeks. She's nine weeks."

"Where is she now? "

"She's on the toilet."

"Is she in any pain?"

"I'm not sure. I think so."

"Is there any blood?"

"Yes."

"Ok, Elliot, this is what I need you to do. Put a few old towels on your bed and lay Kate down on them. Lay her on her back with her head and shoulders slightly propped up. Once you've done that, get her a glass of ice chips and a cool, wet washcloth to place on her forehead. Try and keep her as calm as you can. I'm on my way."

"Ok, thanks, Mom." I hang up and get right to work. I run to get the towels out of the cupboard in the living room. How many should I get? I think five will do so I quickly run back to the bedroom. I tear the comforter off the bed and lay the towels down over the blood on Kate's side of the bed. I run into the kitchen and get the ice chips and washcloth, I then go and get Kate. She is in the same exact position I found her in last time. I go kneel down in front of her and cup her face. She looks so scared.

"Kate, my mom is on her way. She's going to look over you and help in every way she can, okay?"

Kate nods.

"In the meantime she's given me some instructions. I've got some towels on the bed and she wants you to lie down."

Kate nods again. I help her stand and wrap my arm around her waist, but not before I get a look at what's in the toilet.

_Fuck._

It's full of blood. Deep red and daunting. I can't look at it. I help Kate walk back into the bedroom and lay her down on the towels. I put a couple of pillows under her head so she's propped up slightly just like Mom said. I offer her some ice chips but she refuses them, so I put the washcloth on her forehead and stroke her hair soothingly.

"What now?" Kate croaks.

"Now we wait," I whisper.

We don't say anything else. Talking is too painful. Kate doesn't move. She is a statue. I can't keep her calm because as scared as she is, she is calm. She takes deep breaths and squeezes my hand. Seeing her like this only worries me even more, though. Luckily it doesn't take my mom long to get here. I hear the sound of the buzzer a few minutes later and go let them in. I can hear both my mom and dad running up the stairs to get to us. Mom is in her doctor mode and not her mother mode. That's comforting al on its own.

"Is she in the bedroom?" she asks.

I nod and Mom immediately disappears in to the bedroom. I look my dad in the eye. His face is hard and gives nothing away. I can only imagine how I must look right now.

"Go," my dad says.

I don't need telling twice. My wife needs me.

I go back into the bedroom where my mom is examining Kate. Kate has her eyes closed and it almost looks like she could be asleep, but I know she's not. I lie down next to her and take her hand in mine. She squeezes it hard but I don't care. I use my other hand to stroke her face. She leans into my touch.

"When did the bleeding start, Kate?" my mom's voice breaks through our little bubble.

"I don't know," Kate's voice is hoarse. "I woke up about an hour and a half ago because of the cramps and saw the blood."

"And you then went to the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Did you continue to bleed in there?"

"I think so."

I tell my mom about the blood in the toilet and she goes to have a look. I continue to stroke Kate's face. Still no tears. My mom comes back looking more worried than before. _Oh God._

"Kate, you have lost a significant amount of blood. Not significant enough to harm you, but significant enough to harm the baby. You've stopped bleeding but you are still dilating, which really worries me. I'm afraid the only thing we can do now is wait."

I nod. Kate doesn't seem to react. _Oh please, baby, do _something.

"Elliot," Kate says, taking me by surprise.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can you go outside for a minute? I want to talk to your mom alone."

No. I do not want to leave her. I want to wrap her in my arms and hold her there for the next seven months and watch her belly grow. I then want to hold our baby. I want to see her holding our baby. I want us to be a family and to be okay, but I don't think I'm going to get any of that tonight, so I just kiss her forehead and leave the room, closing the door behind me. I dad is sitting in the armchair in the living area. He stands when he sees me, his expression somber. I don't look at him as I move to the couch and sit down. I put my elbows on my knees and rub my face in my hands. What did we do to deserve this?

My dad doesn't sit next to me. He resumes his seat in the armchair and leans forward, watching me.

"How is she?" he asks after a moment.

I shrug. "I don't know. I know she's hurt, but she's giving nothing away." My dad nods to himself and tear start falling out of my eyes. "I don't think we're going to be parents anymore," I whisper.

I look up at Carrick. His mouth is open slightly and I can see he feels bad for us. "I'm sorry, son," he says.

That's it. I start sobbing. Like Kate, I don't cry a lot, but fuck—I'm pretty sure our baby's gone. This feels horrible. My dad sits next to me and puts a hand on my back, which I barely notice. I'm too fucking scared. My fear is beyond the baby at this point. How will Kate handle all this? I usually know exactly what she's feeling, but I don't this time. How the hell will she cope with this situation? How will we cope? I hope to fucking hell that this doesn't affect our marriage. I love her too much. Hopefully we can try again. I just want Kate to be okay.

I'm broken from my thoughts when my mom comes out of the bedroom. She's holding a shoebox.

_Fuck._

"Is that-?" I can't finish my question.

My mom gives a single nod and I can feel my eyes widen as I stare at the box.

"Would you like to see it, Elliot?" she asks softly.

What the fuck kind of question is that? Do I want to see the nine week old fetus that has just dislodged itself from my wife's uterus? No, I don't think I do.

I shake my head no.

"Kate has asked me to dispose of it. I've cleaned her up and she's now asleep. I recommend you go and be with her." My mom's doctor demeanor is crumbling and she has tears in her eyes.

"Thank you, Mom." I don't look at her. My eyes are fixed on the box in her hand.

"I don't think either of you should go to Teddy's birthday today. I'll tell Christian and Ana you couldn't make it. You and Kate need time to heal." I nod.

"Go to sleep, son. That's probably the best thing you can do right now."

I nod again. "Thank you both." I don't hug or kiss either of them. I know I'll break down if I do. Instead, I go back to the bedroom where Kate is fast asleep on clean sheets. My mom is amazing. I slide into bed next to her, but I don't touch her. I don't want to wake her. She looks the same as she always does when she sleeps. It's like nothing's happened. I know as I lie there next to my beautiful wife that there is no way I'll be able to fall asleep tonight. I look at the clock to see that it's almost five o'clock. Fick, has that much time really passed? Five hours ago I went to bed a soon-to-be father. Now I'm no kind of father at all.


	3. Chapter 3

As I suspected, I didn't sleep at all that night. I just watched Kate sleep for a while, got bored, and went out onto the terrace. It was like forty degrees out there, but I didn't give I shit. I needed air. I must have been out there for at least two hours before my toes got numb, but I had a lot on my mind. My wife had a miscarriage.

I still can't believe it. Mom told me that it didn't seem to have an actual cause. Kate didn't do anything wrong, it just happened. I haven't cried anymore about it. I just don't have any tears. I think I've used up my allotted amount of tears for this situation. Kate hasn't used any.

I'm waiting for her to crack. I know she will. She has to. She lost a baby last night and hasn't even shed a single tear yet. I suspect it's because she's practically catatonic about everything right now. I don't want my wife to feel any more pain than she already has, but I know it's going to happen. I almost don't want her to wake up right now because her dreams must be better than reality. I need to do something. I can't just sit out here and brew in my own thoughts, I'll go crazy. Whenever something bad happens, I try and keep myself busy in order to keep my mind off the issue at hand. When my grandfather died I went to work at five in the morning and stayed until ten at night for over a week. Kate was there for me through all of that. She comforted me and didn't nag me about working the way I was, she just let me cope the way I needed to. She made all my favorite foods and she stayed up late with me and sang to me. Kate has a really nice voice. I like to hear it. But I think now is the time for me to return the favor. I'm going to make her breakfast in bed and hold her in my arms. She likes that.

I go to the kitchen and pull out eggs, bacon, and bread. This is her favorite breakfast and I can make it well. A hell of a lot better than she can. I smile. My wife is a pretty shit cook even at the best of times, but she tries. She tries for me. Just after I start frying the bacon, I hear the water running. Kate must be taking a shower, but I'm having trouble deciding if this is a good sign or a bad one. She's functioning, but not grieving.

I am just dishing up the food when Kate comes out of the bedroom. She's in her robe and her hair is soaking wet. She looks down at the food I'm putting on the plates and then her eyes meet mine. The last time I saw those eyes they were full of pain, but now they look the way they always do.

"Can I ask you something?" she says.

"Sure, baby." _Where is she going with this…_

"Was last night a dream?" The question hits me like a ton of bricks. It hurts to keep looking into her eyes because she is completely sincere. She wants to know. Was last night a dream? I wish it was.

"No," I say taking a step toward her. "No, baby, it wasn't."

She closes her eyes and turns her head. "That's what I thought. I just wanted to be sure. Sorry, baby, but I'm not hungry."

Normally in this kind of situation I would take a handful of scrambled egg and smear it all over her face to get her giggling and eating, but that just doesn't seem appropriate right now, so I just say, "That's fine, Kate." And then I add, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. What time is Teddy's party?"

"You're not thinking of going, are you?" I ask, alarmed. She's not serious, is she? A party for a one year-old doesn't seem high on my list of priorities right now, even if he is my nephew.

"Of course we're going. It's Teddy's first birthday, we can't miss it."

"Kate, he's going to have a lot of other birthdays. Christian and Ana will understand." I cross my arms over my chest.

"And what would we do all day? Have sex?"

"We would talk, Kate. I think we've got a lot to talk about. And we can't have sex for two weeks, my mom said so."

"Two weeks? Elliot, I'm fine. I'm okay, really. Yeah, sure, we have a lot to talk about, but we can do that tomorrow, can't we?"

"Kate—" I don't know what else to say. I want to take her to a doctor and get her looked at and then bring her home and talk to her. That's what we should do, right? But I don't want to fight with her. I don't want to raise her blood pressure. She did what I wanted when I wasn't doing well and I need to do the same for her. "The party is at noon. It's ten now, you should get ready."

She nods. "So should you."

"I'm going to eat first."

"Okay."

"I wish you would eat something."

"You sound like Christian."

I smile at that. It's his most common command to Ana and Teddy, especially since he's off the breast milk now and eating baby food.

"Promise me you'll eat at the party," Christ, I'm almost begging.

"I promise I'll eat at the party. I'm going to get ready."

* * *

An hour and a half later I am putting Teddy's gifts in the back of my Jeep and Kate is climbing in the passengers' side. She's still acting as if nothing has happened and I'm really unsettled. I hope being around family will do some kind of good for her. I am especially hoping that seeing Teddy will make her acknowledge what we've lost.

The drive to Christian and Ana's is completely silent. What the hell do I say? I don't want to talk about it in the car, but I also don't want to ignore the issue. Kate just looks out her window in introspective silence and I'm assuming she's thinking about last night. I wonder if she looked at it before my mom put it in the shoebox. I kind of hope she did. It probably wouldn't be right if neither of us looked at it. It was our baby after all.

We get to Christian and Ana's about forty minutes later and find that we are the last to arrive. We get out of the car and I go get the gifts from the back while Kate waits for me. We go up to the front door together and ring the doorbell but no one answers. Kate and I look at each other, confused. I try it again but there's still no answer.

"Hey!" We turn to see Ethan walking towards us. We have a really awkward relationship as both of us has sex with the other's sister.

"Grace and Carrick said you guys weren't coming," he says as he hugs Kate and shakes my hand. "They said you weren't well, sis. You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kate gives her brother a reassuring smile but doesn't elaborate. _Shit. What do we tell everyone?_ I hadn't even though of anything to say about why we weren't going to come.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, hoping to change the subject.

"The party's out back in the meadow. I was just coming out to get something from the car. Excuse me," he says and walks over to his Ford 500. I always make fun of him for his car. For a guy with not bad taste, he sure chose one boring tank of a car.

I wrap my arm around Kate's shoulders and lead her to the back of the house where the party is. Christian ad Ana have a tent set up in the meadow with balloons and fancy outdoor furniture. Kate and I aren't noticed until we reach the tent. Ana, Mom, and Mia are all playing with Teddy in the grass while Dad, Christian, Ray, and Ana and Kate's friend José sit around a table sipping beers.

"Kate! Elliot! Mom and Dad said you weren't coming" Mia yell loudly and consequently gets shushed by Mom and Ana for being too loud around Teddy.

"Well, here we are," I say as I get a bone-crushing hug from my sister. I catch my mom's eye as Mia hugs Kate. She raises her eyebrows at me and I just shrug. What was I supposed to do? I get hugs from the women and handshakes from the men. Kate gets hugs and questions from everyone, but she just tells them all that she's fine. I say happy birthday to Ted. He has a huge smile on his little baby face as I take him in my arms. He's just learning how to kiss, so I manage to get a kiss on the cheek from him. Well, it wasn't a kiss so much as a placement of wet lips on my cheek, but I liked it just the same. He's a good little kid. I hand him off to Kate and go grab a beer. My dad corners me by the cooler.

"Why are you two here?" he murmurs so we aren't overheard.

I shrug. "She wanted to come. I didn't want to say no to her."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know, she's been acting like nothing's happened at all. I keep waiting for her to cry or scream or do _something_ but she's just…"

"It'll happen, Elliot. It'll happen eventually. Just give her some time."

I nod me head and go sit next to Christian, who has moved to a table over from the rest of the guys. Kate has joined the girls and has Teddy on her lap. She still looks the same, even though she's interacting with a baby.

"What did Mom tell you guys?" I ask Christian.

"What do you mean?"

"What was the reason she said we weren't coming?" I need specifics so I know how to lie later.

"She just said that Kate wasn't well last night and that you two weren't coming today. She didn't give specifics."

Go, Mom. "You didn't buy it."

"Of course I didn't buy it. I don't think anyone did. The only person who had questions was Mia."

"Of course she did."

"Incidentally, Kate isn't sick, is she? Because if she is, I want my son off of her lap right now."

I smile at this. "No, Kate's not sick."

Christian sips his beer but doesn't say anything else. That's one thing I really love about my bro: he never presses for information. He lets everything go.

* * *

**Kate's POV**

I hate this. I don't feel anything. I want to cry and scream and cry some more but I just feel like an empty hole has been punched into my chest. I know Elliot is waiting for me to break and I know he's really worried about me. Grace and Carrick are, too. Well, everyone is, really, but I don't want to tell them what happened. Not yet, at least. Elliot and I both need to accept it first. I wanted to come today because I thought being around family, Ted especially, would make me feel something—less hollow. But so far I feel the same. Even having Teddy on my lap didn't make a difference.

Ana and Mia have just gone into the house to get trays of food for us to snack on. I know I promised Elliot I would eat something, but I don't think I'd be able to keep anything down right now. Elliot's totally turned into his brother today. He's hovering, trying to make me eat—just being all around too overprotective. He means well, but it's getting annoying.

When Ana and Mia return with the food, I go sit next to Elliot and he immediately puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls my close. I would normally love this; I love his affectionate attitude, but not today. I pull away and take a sip of my water. Elliot looks upset, but I've been like this all day to him. Every time he tries have any kind of physical contact with me, I've rejected it, this isn't like me at all. I look down at my hands. _Why can't I feel anything?_

I pick at some vegetables I put on my plate, but I really can't eat right now. Elliot keeps leaning over and begging me to eat at least one full carrot. I manage one, but then have to stop.

Ana, Christian, Mia, Ethan and Teddy sit at the table with us. Teddy sits on his mother's lap while his father feeds him some baby food. Teddy, being a curious baby, isn't too interested in his food and is watching everything going on around him. I can't keep my eyes off the little boy. He really is very sweet. Ana and Christian love so strongly it's almost painful to watch. No. it _is _painful to watch, especially now. Especially when Ana and Christian decide to show off Teddy's new ability to walk. Well, kind of walk. He's just starting to get the hang of it, but he's still really wobbly. He toddles from Ana's arms and into Christian's, who stand a couple feet away. He lifts his son into the air and kisses his cheek, so very proud of him. Christian settles Teddy on his hip and Teddy reaches up to touch his face, his blue eyes twinkling. I imagine a blue-eyed child with strawberry blonde curly hair. What our child could have been—the perfect combination of us both. Christian smiles and hugs his baby close.

Bam.

I stand up suddenly, startling Elliot. I need to get out of here. I need to get out of here _now_.

"Are you okay, baby?" Elliot asks gently, grabbing my arm.

I clear the lump from my throat just long enough to be able to say, "Yes. I'm fine. I just need to go to the bathroom."

I don't look at him as I leave the tent. The concern and pain on his face is too much for me to handle right now. I can feel his eyes as well as the eyes of Grace and Carrick and Ana and Ethan watch me as I go.

I make it into the house before the first tear makes its way down my cheek. I'm not going to last much longer. I find one of the downstairs bathrooms as quickly as I can, run in, and slam the door behind me. I drop to my knees in front of the toilet, feeling like I'm going to be sick. I start to shake. I can't breathe. I start sobbing. I mean, I _really _start sobbing. I've always been an ugly crier, it's part of the reason I do it so little. But right now I don't give a shit. It now feels like someone has put a knife in the hole in my chest and is twisting it. It hurts so much. I start gasping for air as it's difficult to breathe past the lump in my throat. I curl up into the fetal position right there on the floor and cry my eyes out. I can't say 'cry my heart out' because I'm pretty certain my heart is in that shoebox.

I have no idea how long I have been crying before I hear a gentle knock on the door. I don't look up to see who it is because I can guess. Elliot kneels on the floor beside me and rubs my back. After a moment, he scoops me up into his lap and I immediately latch my arms around his neck in a vice-like grip. I hold onto him like he's my lifeline, because for intents and purposes, he is. He continues to rub my back and he coos softly in my ear. This only breaks me more as I imagine him doing the same thing to out child when he or she would be sad. I hate to think what I took away from Elliot last night. He really wants kids and he was so excited. He's been the happiest I've ever seen him over the past couple of weeks, which is really saying something. Now all I see in his beautiful blue eyes are pain and worry. Elliot's eyes shouldn't express such terrible emotions, he's too good. I've done this to him. Words can't express the grief and guilt I feel for this. It is my fault. It's all my fault.

"I'm sorry," I sob in Elliot's ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Elliot."

"Hush, Kate." He hugs me tighter.

"I'm sorry, this is all my fault."

Elliot grabs my face and stares into my eyes. He wipes my tears away with his thumbs, but he looks serious.

"Don't you _ever _apologize for this, Kate. It is not your fault, do you understand me?"

I nod, startled by his power and then sag against him and continue my sobbing.

I don't have a clue how long we stay in the bathroom. I long time, that I know. Elliot soothes me and kisses my head and coos and rubs my back. We can always try again. We should try again, we really should. I still want a baby, but it hurts to lose one. There is no reason me shouldn't try again. If anyone on this planet deserves to be a father it is my husband, Elliot Trevelyan-Grey. He's funny and warm and open and he cares and he loves. I full intend on making him a father. This first baby just wasn't meant to be. Maybe, hopefully, the next one will. I start to calm down as I realize this. I stop shaking and sobbing and I look up into the face of my husband. He still looks very worried. I kiss him gently and he smiles a little, which in turn makes me smile a bit. He helps he stand up and I go over to the sink so I can wash my face. When I finish, Elliot takes a soft red towel and dries my face for me. He kisses my forehead and I wrap my arms around his waist. I kiss his throat and he leads me out of the bathroom and back out to the party in the meadow. Everyone looks extremely worried as we approach the tent, but I give them a reassuring smile, which must be convincing, as they smile back at me. I certainly feel a lot better than I did.

Elliot and I sit down in two vacant chairs and enjoy the rest of the party. We watch Teddy watch his parents open his gifts for him; we watch as he destroys a mini cake and gets it all over himself; we watch Ray and Carrick bouncing him on their knees; we watch José take photos him; and we watch him fall asleep in Ethan's arms. Ethan passes over a sleeping Teddy to his mother and father, who then take him inside to clean him up and put him to bed.

I decide that we should probably tell everyone. They are our family, after all and no one would be more supportive for us. We are surrounded by some of the best people in the world right here and I think they should know.

Upon Christian and Ana's return, I clear my throat.

"I want to thank all of you for keeping the questions to a minimum today, especially you, Mia." Everyone laughs a bit. "Elliot and I had a rough night last night and it may have been smarter for us not to come today, but I wanted to be here, so Elliot went along with it." I glance up at him and he looks wary, but I continue. "I had a miscarriage last night."

The effect is instantaneous. Ana and Mia gasp loudly and are right there at my side, along with Ethan. Everyone looks upset by this and now I feel guilty for ruining such a happy occasion. I accept the condolences and hugs before getting everyone's attention again.

"I thank you all for being supportive, but I don't want to ruin such a happy day even more than I already have, so I'll say that I'm doing a lot better than I was. I had a good cry earlier and my amazing husband was there beside me. We have quite a bit to talk about, but we're doing ok."

The rest of the night is spent back in a happy mood. Elliot and I join in a few conversations and I manage to eat some food, much to Elliot's delight. But when we finally get home, I feel it again. The hole in my chest. I don't feel it as keenly as before, but it's definitely there. Just being back in this apartment is painful. We need to move. I cry again into Elliot's chest before drifting off to sleep. I dream of a strawberry blonde, curly-haired little girl with her father's eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Kate's POV**

Things return to normal over the next few weeks…for the most part. We get back into our routines and try to forget what happened the best we can. We went to dinner with my parents not long ago and told them about it. My mom cried and cried and cried, and my dad had to excuse himself from the table. I really hated seeing them like that and it took Elliot half an hour to calm me down when we got home. The rest of the family calls us more, checks in on us. I think they're worried, but they don't need to be. We're fine. Elliot and I are fine. Elliot has been the most supportive and amazing husband I could ever possibly ask for after what we've been through. He's cut an hour out of work every day just to be home before me so he can cook dinner for us. If he can't leave early, he calls me to let me know that he's going to pick something up on his way home. I know why he's doing this. He feels like owes me for what I did for him after Theo died. He doesn't, obviously, but I do enjoy the back rubs he gives me every night.

We've agreed to try for another, eventually, but we don't want to dive right back into it. We need time to recover and sort out our lives a bit before thinking about another baby. First order of business: move. Elliot and I both agree that we don't want to be living in an apartment anymore, especially this one. It's just too painful. I don't even use the bathroom connected to our bedroom anymore except to shower, because whenever I look at the toilet in that room, all I can see is blood, and I know Elliot sees it too. Needless to say, I keep the seat cover down whenever I'm in there. We started house hunting and put the apartment on the market. Unfortunately for us, we found a buyer before we were able to find a house we liked. Elliot and I will now have to live with Mia and Ethan in my old apartment while we try and find a house that will suit our needs. This should be good for us. As annoying as Mia can be, she is really lovely and she cares for us. Same with Ethan. Though I'm not sure how much of them we'll be seeing. Ethan is still working on his Master's and Mia has just been promoted to head pastry chef at the Fairmont Olympic and they are both working 12 hour days minimum. That can't be good for their relationship, but they seem to be going steady so I'm keeping my mouth shut. For now.

I arrive earlier than usual on Friday so I can leave before four. We are moving tomorrow morning and still have a shit ton of packing to do. Ever since my doctor gave us the ok to have sex again, we've barely stopped long enough to eat anything except each other. It's very therapeutic and it's making me hot right now, so I better stop thinking about it. I get to my desk and fire up my computer. In the next cubicle over I can hear Jim crinkling up the wrapper of some kind of sugary, fatty food. It is by far the most annoying thing about my cubicle. Jim never stops eating and everything he eats is packaged. Everything. All day all I can hear is the irritatingly loud result of his constant snacking. Elliot thinks it's hilarious, the bastard. But it's the only thing I complain about my job. I work as a columnist at the Seattle Times now and I love it. My column is only semi-regular and it's on local announcements, which means I have to wait for someone to get engaged or have a baby in order to have anything to write about, but I've got my eye locked on a big promotion at the end of this month. It's a position on the next floor up to be a regular journalist for big things that happen all over the world. That means I would get to write _real _articles on things like plane crashes, devastating fires, mass murders, terrorist attacks, hurricanes, and just about any other kind of tragedy there is! Unfortunately I'm up against about 30 other people and my usual bribing and extra-hard work ethic hasn't been up to par lately, what with the…incident. I hope this doesn't hurt my career like its hurt me and the rest of my family.

I log in to my computer and make my way over to Lacy's office. Lacy is my boss and I really like her. We're the same woman just born twenty years apart. She has deep red hair that's actually her natural color, thick and stunning eyebrows, and green eyes that could kill a person if they stared too long. She's a bit chubby, but no one would ever dare say that to her face, not even her husband. I love her. I knock on the closed door to her office, hoping she's in there. I'm relieved when I hear her voice telling me to enter. I walk right in to her office in my usual manner; direct, confident, and businesslike. I know she respects my tenacity.

"Good morning, Kate. You're early," she says in her uncharacteristically deep voice.

"Good morning, Lacy. I'm here because I would like to leave here before four today if possible." That's it Kate, stick to the point.

"Why do you need to leave early?" Lacy raises her eyebrows in surprise. I've never ever asked to leave early in my life.

"My husband and I are moving tomorrow morning and we still have to pack most of our belongings."

"I see. Well, as you're here so early I don't see why not. Let's not make a habit of this, though."

"Absolutely. A one-time thing, I promise."

Lacy leans back in her chair and looks me over like she's considering something. "Kate, will you close the door and sit down, please?" she asks.

Confused, I do as I'm told and take one of the two seats opposite her. I immediately think of everything I could have done to piss her off, but nothing comes to mind.

"I'm sorry, but have I done something wrong?" I ask.

"No, no, nothing like that," she says, shaking her head. "A few of your colleagues have expressed some…concerns about your behavior lately. And if I'm to be completely honest, I, too, am concerned."

"What kind of concerns? Have I offended anyone?" Shit, I haven't yelled at Jim, have I? These last few weeks have been a blur for me.

"No. We're just concerned because you haven't really been yourself lately."

"Lacy, with all due respect, could you cut to the chase, please?"

Lacy smiles and nods, amused. "Katherine, the roots of your colleagues' concerns is the lack of drive you've had recently. You've been more withdrawn, and for such a tenacious young woman, we all just want to make sure you're ok."

"I'm fine, Lacy, thank you. My husband and I have just been having a tough time, but we're getting through it." I'm not telling her about the baby. As much as I love Lacy, I don't want my colleagues to know because I don't really consider any of them my friends. None of them like me very much, but that's ok. I'll make friends with the people on the next floor up.

"Ah, did you have your first fight?" Lacy smiles knowingly. She must be an expert in husband fighting.

"No. We had a death in the family."

Lacy's smile vanishes immediately, replaced with a different kind of knowing expression, one I don't really care for.

"Oh I'm so sorry. May I ask who?"

I shake my head slowly and she nods hers respectively. She gets it. Gets me.

"May I get you a coffee or anything?" I offer in an attempt to close the subject.

"Still after that promotion, are you?" she asks, deadpan.

"You know me so well," I say, equally deadpan.

We both crack a smile and she shakes her head in amusement.

"Oh Katherine, you remind me so much of myself. I'm good, though. I have my assistant on a Starbucks run. She should be back soon, and you should be getting to work. I believe the mayor's daughter got engaged a few nights ago," she says as a way to dismiss me.

"Yes ma'am." I get up to leave.

"Oh, and Kate?" Lacy calls as I'm about to walk out the door of her office. I turn around.

"Yes?"

"Don't ever call me ma'am again," she says.

"Yes, boss."

"That's better. Now get the hell out of here."

I smile and head back to my cubicle to start my no-longer-than-ten-sentence column on the mayor's bitch of a daughter and the Ivy League prick she's going to get married to.

"Fuck a duck!" Elliot exclaims after he drops a box on his foot in my old room at Ethan and Mia's place. Ethan is helping us move, but Mia is working until midnight.

"You okay, baby?" I ask, setting down a box of my own.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He mumbles and I laugh at his tone.

I walk over to him and give him a kiss. He smiles and abruptly swings me down into one of his Hollywood-style holds that I love so much.

"How do you think we should spend our first night in a new home?" he asks salaciously.

"Okay, A. We've had sex in this room plenty on times. I used to live here, remember? B. My brother and your sister live here now so we shouldn't be disrespectful."

Elliot pouts like a little boy whose been denied candy. I smile.

"But-" Elliot perks up. "if we're quiet, I don't see how they'd ever have to know." I kiss him once more and get back to work. Elliot slaps my ass as I go.

**Elliot's POV**

Things have gotten so much better. Kate and I have been living with Mia and Ethan for a month or so now and it's been going great. It's been roughly three months since that night, but we're doing well. I've gone back to my regular work schedule because Mia always has the apartment completely stocked with food from the restaurant. Now that it's August, working outside in the country building a completely new subdivision sucks major ass. The only people on our sites who wear shirts right now are the few women we have, but some of them don't even care. Tom, my right hand man, hasn't been in for a few days because his wife just had their first baby, so I've been working extra hard to cover for him, which also sucks. I'm really happy for them both, but it sucks in this heat. The entire crew cheers and woops every time it rains, which happens often in this part of the country. Unfortunately the rain only adds to the humidity once it's finished. Mother Nature sure is a heartless bitch.

About a month ago I was in the site office looking over some bad blueprints when I got a call from my wife that nearly blasted my ears off. She was screaming so loud you'd have thought she was being murdered, but I was able to piece together her words after a few minutes.

"I…got…the…PROMOTION!" she shouted.

"You got the promotion? That's great! That's amazing, baby! Wow." I smiled from ear to ear. She had been kissing major ass for months trying to get that job, and my Kate _does not_ kiss ass.

"When do you start?"

"Next Monday!" I swear my ears were about to fall off.

"I'm so happy for you, baby! Listen, I really need to get back to work, but we're going to celebrate tonight. I'm going to pick the necessities on my way home," I said, slyly.

"Necessities? I'm intrigued, baby. I'll see you tonight. I'm leaving early because I have another doctor's appointment and I need to call everyone!" She sounded so fucking happy that it just made me love her even more.

"Have fun, Kate. I love you."

"I love you too, Elliot," she said and she hung up.

That night we ate some fine fucking food and then went at it like rabbits until the dawn. It pissed Mia and Ethan off, let me tell you. That was also the night Kate informed me that she would be starting birth control again.

Since her amazingly big promotion, however, I've been seeing less and less of my Kate. She is chasing down stories, investigating _way _more than she probably should into things that most people would stay the fuck out of—people like me and most of Earth's population, for example. Her best story, so far, was about how some of the Syrian military fled to Turkey because they couldn't stand to go up again the angry people. That story had Kate glued to wither her desk at work or the desk in our room eighteen hours a day for six days—that's right, I kept track. I can't complain, though, because for the first time in like what seems forever, Kate is really happy. She has her dream job, the one she has been working for and obsessing over since she was five years old. I hardly see her looking sad anymore. Occasionally a sorrow look creeps onto her face, but it happens far less frequently than it used to, which makes me happy.

I had to work in our main office all day today in order to set up deeds and mail contracts to realtors on time. I'm leaving about an hour and a half later than I normally do because these annoying fuckers have been breathing down my neck all week for the deeds. I wanted to put a bunch of spelling and grammar mistakes in there just to piss off their lawyers, but I'd rather go home, so I lock up, put the shit in the mail, and head on "home". Kate and I have yet to find a house. I've told Kate a thousand times that she could just design a house to exactly what she wants and Grey Construction will build it, but she refuses. She wants the experience of buying a "real" house. That's bullshit, but that's my wife. What can a guy do?

When I walk into the apartment I immediately know something's up. Ethan is sitting on the floor with about a hundred textbooks laid out and open in front of him, but that's not unusual. The guy always has some kind of big exam coming up. No, it's when he looks up that I know. He looks…sad and just a little bit mad. I wonder immediately if I've done something to piss him off, but all he says is, "Kate's in your room," and goes back to his studying.

"Okay…thanks," I say, a bit weirded out by his behavior.

I open the door to the room Kate and I share, but she's not in there. _The fuck?_ I look back at Ethan, but he has his face in a book, so I just go in. She's not on the bed or at the desk, so where the hell is she?

"Kate?" I call, unsure.

I listen for a few seconds, but I hear nothing. I'm just about to go ask Ethan if he's sure Kate is even in the apartment when I hear the light scrape of clothes hangers coming from the closet. I walk over and open it. I part the clothes and find my wife curled up on the floor with puffy red eyes and wet cheeks. My first thought is that she stuck her nose too far into somebody else's business and they attacked her for it, but then I remember that this is the strongest woman on the planet and it would take a lot more than an angry stranger to make her break down and cry in a closet. I crouch down in front of her and take her face in my hands, wiping her tears from her cheeks.

"Can I persuade you to come out of the closet?" I ask.

She shakes her head.

"You know I mean that in the literal sense, right? I know you aren't gay," I tell her.

She laughs a little and I help her stand up. Once she's up, she begins to wipe her eyes, so I use the opportunity to lift her into my arms. She barely reacts. I walk us over to the bed and sit down. Once I'm situated against the headboard with her in my lap I ask the inevitable.

"What's up, Kate? What's got you this upset?"

She shakes her head and buries her face in the crook of my neck, sobs attacking her body, making her shake. I wrap my arms tighter around her and rub her back gently. We stay like this for a while, but the longer it goes on, the more freaked out I get. I say a silent thank you to God when she finally stops crying and looks my dead in the eye.

"I'm pregnant."

_Oh shit._

* * *

**_Hey, guys! Sorry for such a late update! I was busy and lazy and that's a bad combination. So, I originally only intended this story to be short. This chapter here being how I pictured it would end and that would be that. However, I have a new ending in mind (which would involve about 10 additional chapters), but I can't decide if that's the one I want to use, or to just leave it where it is now, where I had originally wanted it to end. I'll think about it and let you guyes know._**


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